I have been informed that this week is a big moment in my future wife's life. She turns two years old. Even though this is typically a cause for celebration, I have some concerns. I have my rights so I feel it only appropriate to express my thoughts.
When a child completes their second year of life, church nusery policy dictates that said child "graduates" from the joyful confines of the nusery to the impending shriekfest of the two and three year old's classroom. One is forced to move from constant snuggling with senior saints to fighting for survival over the bigger kid toys. Along with such trauma, I'm certain the frequency of treats diminishes and this could cause disruptions to a hungry tummy. Meanwhile, all the old friends are back in the "crib" livin' it up not noticing the departure of a loved one.
But in my case, it's not just another loved one. It's my future wife. If she graduates and leaves me behind, she may very well find someone else to betrothe herself to. I cannot and will not accept this. In this day and age, finding a virtuous woman is becoming more and more difficult for studmuffins like myself to accomplish. Furthermore, the breaking up of such a power couple could be detrimental to the harmony of congregational life within our church family.
So, it is with complete respect and eagerness that I submit my request. Because it would be despising to my youth, don't let her leave the nursery without me. She's your daughter, you have the power to make my dreams a reality.
Happy 2nd Birthday Val Val!
Love,
Dayson (as transcribed by daddy)
Dayson and Valerie on Easter Sunday.
1 comment:
Dear Sir,
Thank you for voicing your heart-felt plea. It is with much fear and trepidation that I have contemplated Valerie's impending "graduation" from our nursery program. Your assessment of the two's and three's class, to which she may be advancing, is quite acurate. There are obvious advantages to staying withing the loving confines of the nursery rather than being banished to the uttermost parts of the church building. However, I do feel that this transition is an important milestone in our daughter's life. I am quite certain that this new phase of development will not diminish her affection for you. She is most devoted to you.
Do remember, kind sir, that Valerie will be returning to the nursery each Sunday evening. In those twilight hours you may affirm your love for her so that her heart might never be swayed toward an older man.
Respectfully,
The Head of the Nursery Department
and
Val-Val's Mama
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